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A Hole In My Heart

Dodie, Dena, Darcy, Tony (2016)

I have always wanted to know something about my biological family. I have done intentional birth searches twice and came up with nothing. The very last thing I am told I could do is to leave a DNA sample in Korea and go on a program in Korea saying I am searching for my birth family. I want to know something because of my medical history and because I felt like I never had good parent/daughter relationships. I feel like there is a hole in my heart that won’t be filled until I meet someone in my biological family. I have done 23 and Me but that only registers for people in the U.S.

Interestingly enough, my other siblings have had no interest in finding anything out about their birth family from what I know. And my brother was even stationed in Korea when he was in the army. But I am not close to them. This picture was taken in 2016 and that was the last time I saw them all together or even separately. I wish I had a closer relationship with them, but we all took different life paths. The last time I really hung out with them and knew them was when I was 17, my brother was 14 years old, my one sister was 12 years old and the other was 10 years old.

Due to family dysfunctions, we never learned how to have a relationship with one another or at least a healthy one. A multicultural family is good, if only, we were able to appreciate one another’s cultures and learn more about them. That we did not. My family is unique, I love them and pray for them. They will always be my adoptive family.