Before My Birth

I wonder...

For it was you who formed my inward parts; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; that I know very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes beheld my unformed substance. In your book were written all the days that were formed for me, when none of them as yet existed.

Psalm 139:13-16 NRSVUE

Before January 29, 1972, what were my birth parents doing? Who are they? One of the facts that I do know about my birth parents comes from my 23andMe DNA test. It shows that one parent was from the Seoul area and the other was from the Jelloabuk-Do area, south of Seoul. I assume my biological mother is from Seoul, as I was found in Uijeongbu, north of Seoul. My perceived narrative is that life was a struggle in Korea, 18 years after the Korean War. I imagine that my birth mom had an unplanned pregnancy and that she was young, so she didn’t share the news with my birth father. There was and still is a stigma in South Korea that single, unwed mothers face discrimination and are often pressured to give up their children for adoption. I wonder what it was like for my birth mother. I wonder why my birth mother chose to give birth to me? There have been many times I have questioned my life’s existence.

But because of my faith, and scripture says God knit me in my mother’s womb, I believe it! Whatever the reason was, my biological mother couldn’t keep me. I know God was with her and was/is with me. The unknown circumstances have been a lot for me to comprehend. I want to know who I am, who my biological parents are, and whether I look like them. What qualities do I inherit from them?

I know I come from God and will return to God (“you are dust, and to dust you shall return,” Gen. 3:19). My identity is rooted in God; that is all that matters, and I can now accept that. But it doesn’t stop me from continuing to be curious about my biological parents and the early situations they came from.

Wonder: Is there something about your prebirth you do not know about and are curious about?

Creator God, thank you for creating each of us in your image. Help us remember that we are your beloved children who are called and sent to proclaim the Gospel in this world. Amen.